100 TEARS, PART 1 2000
100 things that made me cry (while living in the last century)
Someone stole my hat right off of my head
We put stella to sleep
My aunt died of cancer
My grandmother suffered from Lou Gehrig's
My grandpa stopped talking to his son
A friend changed after taking pcp
After reading silent spring
Sometimes when I paint
Kids were smashing pollywogs with rocks
I fell in a puddle and ruined my coat
When i wanted god to hear me
I discovered that i wasn't in love
Patty's brother was killed in Vietnam
Judy Garland died
Ii fell in a well and no one believed me
I was down to 36 cents
I had to remove the valentines from my window
My dead cat, chow chow, was tossed in the trash
I wanted my mother
I rented a room in a stranger's house
Riding Greyhound bus from my dad's to my mom's
I did not get the job
My grandmother died after doctors said that she was fine
Wanting my life to be different
Joel was late getting home
I had a spider on my neck
Joel said that he would never leave me
The goodness and deeds of others
When i saw the Dalai Lama
No one took my side
I was told that i would be given all that i want
Watching movies about the Holocaust
I was ignored in a room full of people
Religion divided our family
i got gum in my hair
My father quit his career
Audubon's descriptions of flocks of birds flying
I thought too much of the past and the future
The minutemen passing by our home
I devoted myself to a vision
I didn't have Christmas
Friends were not friendly anymore
A gutted deer hung from the tree
How beautiful the Assabet River was
Watching Walden Pond change
when the police came to check things out
I felt love
I held my little sister as if she was mine
I almost got hit by a speeding truck
I was screaming and no one came
A teacher made fun of my spelling
Listening to the piano
I saw a fire start
The Staffordshire dogs did not come to life
Standing on Prospect and Cushing
When things were not what I thought
I got lost on the way home
The gossip was about me
I was held up at gunpoint
John Kennedy Jr. died
The Gulf war
I let a bird free
Match factories in India
They thought i was faking before going to the hospital
I had two different socks on for my school photos
I was painting the loft ceiling by myself
I missed a funeral
I saw how big elephant herds once were
We moved away
My parents fought
I was alone
They didn't want to see me
I was embarrassed
After i was brave
Graduating didn't feel like anything
Patty hearst was kidnapped
Seals dead on the beach
I saw whales swimming
Ghost nets got bigger
The story of Little Women
The oil spill
The spray trucks carried DDT
Someone stopped to help us
Learning of others' pain
Litter in the streets
When I arrived in Vienna
Staying in Agatha Christie's room on the cataract
Crossing through Checkpoint Charlie
Those that have little and share
My grandmother went behind the iron curtain
My brother went through a glass window
When old dishes break
The beauty of ruth ealy's garden
A European thanked me for america's help
The Michigan sunset after my wedding
John died of aids
100 TEARS, PART 3
Disturbing traits of humanity (that must now pass through us)
greed selfishness hoarding egotism conceit condescension jealousy dishonesty hypocrisy
endangerment corruption gossip pettiness malice fraud usury crime stealing injustice contempt
harassment demoralization humiliation unfairness intimidation coercion violence abuse victimization
perversion poverty famine racism sexism prejudice slavery degradation elitism oppression hatred
evil genocide murder terrorism weapons persecution torture materialism cruelty plundering bribery pollution illiteracy tyranny toxins dictatorship self-righteousness domination strife
exploitation rigidity intolerance usurpation barbarism rage animosity blackmail smog nepotism
rape hubris belligerence deception wastefulness combativeness defilement desecration recklessness alienation pretension falsification insincerity extinction bigotry extremism colonialism apartheid revenge segregation embezzlement thoughtlessness authoritarianism hostility covetousness
nsensitivity negativity vindictiveness spite misuse unmercifulness
100 TEARS, PART 3,
TEARS OF JOY (100 thoughts to keep on going)
NEGATIVE to POSITIVE
brain scan lightboxes, 5x5
Prepare for the experience that will deconstruct your beliefs.
The wish that you were granted is coming true now.
It is always all about you.
This wound is part of the cosmic order.
Not everyone will be happy with what you do.
You are stepping out of your shoes with each step.
Look for the tulips in rude people's eyes.
It is only a rocky cliff with monsters on it.
Quick, walk down the first plank that you see.
Each thought gets a new wrinkle.
Should I just trust myself.
I am so organized that I am not.
It is time to rest.
There are two of everyone.
Just playing, not dead.
Beethoven sends his love and Blake enjoyed meeting you.
Not true, too bad, nothing, so what.
Silence but for the clouds moving across the sky.
You only think that you want to live down a 10 min driveway.
Your teeth are still here and there was no cliff.
Dissolve, become dissolve, become, dissolve become dissolve, become dissolve.
Everyone thinks that you are nuts.
A dream that does not end.
All of you are in shock, you the most.
You are a wild animal running in dirt soon to be free.
Throw stuff out there.
Because we are creative, we will have lots of fun.
You are not alone.
Is it starting to make sense?
It is all so amazing.
Do not let too many people in here--I will tell you who.
I really love your art.
We know that you were hurt, it is why we are here.
Make promises and when others break them.
Be quiet in the world now.
I believe in you, you believe in me
Then there was a seal placed upon my heart.
We will watch over you.
Hold some words back.
It is true, mistakes are made.
Let light in here
There is something that I need to tell you.
God's stars rest around my head.
A paradise here on earth.
I understood the language coming from the sea.
This Is The Last Time I Am Going To Cook You All Dinner
101 dinner plates
I have given all that I can give.
You did not see the slice of sky.
One day your spoon became a shovel.
My china will never match.
You make fun of my wrinkled napkins.
Your bite became aggressive.
My presentation is always dignified.
You don't notice the uniqueness.
You only see your reflection in the silver.
It bothers you that there is only one fork.
You miss the fine details.
You ignore what is set before you.
How odd that you go away complaining.
You gobble up delicacies like fast food .
My freedom annoys you.
You have it all backwards and in reverse.
You were only trying to help yourself.
The things that come out of your mouth are shocking.
You had a personal goal that involved me.
Our motives are very different.
I have what it takes.
No thank you.
I am fed up, finished, and through.
I have always set a place for you.
The entree is not for sale.
Everyone is welcome to an extra helping.
I am a refreshment.
It was all my pleasure.
Your eyes are the size of saucers.
You must always be the centerpiece.
I worked a lifetime on the menu.
I didn't fulfill your expectations.
The fine china is now hidden.
You wanted so much.
I can not make something up.
I didn’t want to lose my course.
I showed you beautiful patterns and textures.
I needed to preserve my integrity.
All I have is inside me.
I freely share myself with you.
You have overlooked all that I can give.
Realizations take time to arrive.
I must save myself.
My service was amazing.
Some things must be avoided.
You hatched something up while I was cooking for an army.
You tried to rearrange my table.
I owe you nothing.
Your expectations are too much.
You said you tried to help me.
You only helped yourself.
I never asked for help.
I made myself vulnerable, sometimes fragile.
Each glass has the same amount.
Your tone had grit to it.
I pray all the time.
Please order take-out next time.
Well done! I am going to leave now
I'm going to disappear.
I took it for awhile, I overlooked it.
I just don't need to be around.
I remained refined.
This is not a stain.
You will miss all that was here.
Time washes things away.
The event is now fading.
I didn't take what you offered.
Where does it leave me?
You are not satisfied with your dish.
I was as kind as I could be without being spat upon.
You became sloppy.
We all need daily care.
I couldn't breath, I was choking.
My menu is complete.
I tried the impossible. I tried to please us both.
We have very different tastes.
Your remarks had a sour flavor.
I don't ever want to be bitter.
I lost my privacy, I lost the time to recover.
So sorry that it has come to this.
Patience allows things to rise and become.
I presented you with a feast that was rare.
My recipes overflow with flavors.
Please don't make a mess here.
Your mouth is full.
I like to focus on everyone’s sweetness.
I have taken on quite a bit.
The party got out of control.
You have forgotten how to slow down and enjoy.
I provided you with a gem.
There were rations, but everyone ate.
You missed the spread placed before you.
The banquet is for everyone.
You left your picnic in the rain.
The table cloth was pulled away quickly.
The reception was off.
I treated myself with respect.
Your indulgence got the best of you.
You talk to consume your own words.
I Just Woke Up
Wake up wake up
See it as everlasting
All that matters is here
Prepare for silence
Only know what you know
Pick up where you left off
Your road is the highway
Now is always
Next mountain please
This is not a speed ramp
World to you
Thin wall ahead
Light through eyelids
The point is behind you
Go to the place you always go
There is here
Here is where you are
Hear your thoughts
Thoughts travel at night
You are epic
Listen to movement
You are a creative force
Genesis of being
This is it
Reading Tea Leaves, Peace of Mind, Beating Drum, Paper Prayers, Waterworks,
My Fans, Gloved, Mica Might, Feather Bed...
1990 Peppers, Seeds, and Rotting Vegetables
1996 What I painted when I could not paint
2005 For the Birds
2007 Butterflies are free
2011 The Year The Permafrost Softened
WORKS ON PAPER
1997 The Chase
1998 Dismantled Sketchbooks
1999 Ragdale Series
2000-2004 Collage Art
2000-2004 Figure Drawing
2000-2005 Project Art
2000 Spinning Plates
2002 Fan Collages
2001 Screaming In Places Where I Can't Be heard
2005-2006 The Story of the Universe
2008 Buddha Was Here
2009 Life On Hold (NFS)
2010-2016 The Demandments (NFS)
1995-1998 Sectioned panels
1997-1998 White Paintings and Furry Work
1998 Red Dot Series
2001-2009 Wax, Wire, Gold, Globe, and Glass
2001 How Things Pile Up
2002 Retablos, oil on metal
2002-present Project Items
Historic-present Fane Items
1550-1560 Ancestral Figure Drawings
2006 Negative to Positive
2007-present Four walls*
2010-present Teacups for Reading Tea Leaves
2000-present My Crates
2004 White Sands
2006 Blue Clouds
LIBRARY OF BOOKS 2000-present
Book of Days
The Ragdale Book
Box of Tears
Pocket Full of Cries
Retablos: How I Got From Here to Here
The Fane Pamphlet
Scroll of Influence
The Story of Red Trees
Red Trees History
Red Trees Chronicle
Red Trees Prayerbook
Red Trees Kakemono
Book of Leaves
Found: Journals from the future
Books of Sense
The Wedding Program
The Wedding Book
I Must Go
Book of Stairs*
The Studio Visit Playbill*
Flower Book 2*
Studio 1: Dayton and Blackhawk
Studio 2: Hubbard and House
Project scouting and on location
Works in progress
Exhibits, happenings, homes
Studio clippings and announcements
WORLD RIVERS PROJECT overview
World Rivers: Curtain
World Rivers: Participants
World Rivers: Rivers
World Rivers: Cloth
Visit the River Log
* documentation is forthcoming
This archive is a creative history spanning two decades.
The documentation is comprised of many technological
formats ranging from slides, 4x5s, photographs, and
straddles the introduction of digital formatting of the time.
The goal was to preserve images, whether high or low resolution.